Really need to get my shit together.

So my weight this morning was 167.6 and I'm so pissed off at myself!!! >:(
Well today I did better with my food but lost count of calories cause I had a stupid peanut butter and jelly that someone else made and some chips for dinner. Didn't go to the gym like I wanted to either.

Tomorrow is Friday so I don't work :) going shopping for my nieces birthday present and gonna get some sushi at this awesome Japanese restaurant. I'll stop at Victoria's Secret too, I LOVE Victoria's Secret! I have coupons as well. I plan on going to the Disney store for my niece's present, and my son will be with me so that's gonna be fun. He loves Mickey Mouse. :)

Other than the sushi and maybe a skinny iced mocha from Starbucks I won't really have anything else. Salad or fruit for dinner maybe? Idk. I'm getting paranoid about my weight.  It's just out of control.

Also the Victoria's Secret fashion show is in 33 days according to their website. I'm really excited, it's great thinspo and fun to watch.

Speaking of, here's some thinspo I found that I really like. (It's mostly shopping themed thinspo)

I'm not gonna post much more. Think I'm getting sick so I'm gonna go take my vitamins, a bath, and make some peppermint tea. :) should be nice.

~Toxic

New start and a search for myself

Hey everyone :) My name is Toxic. Well that's what I've always gone by on here. I miss this site so much, I used to have a different blog which here is a link in case anyone is interested in it.

http://toxicwastedgal.blogspot.com/

I don't use it anymore. I'll give a new introduction since this is basically totally new and so much has changed for me since I've been here and most of the blogs I used to follow are no longer active.

I'm 24 years old a college student and work part time as a receptionist. I'm engaged and have a son who is almost 2. I've had issues with my weight, appearance, and self confidence for as long as I can remember and suffer from an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. This blog will be a personal blog but mostly focus on my food and weight. I do not consider it pro-ana, it is a personal reflection and diary. I don't encourage any of you reading it to follow in my footsteps. With that said... TRIGGER WARNING! If you don't wan't to be triggered into disordered eating habits and think what I say could trigger you then leave please. Otherwise proceed.

I've tried recovery in the past and almost succeeded, I even had a very healthy pregnancy a few years back and now a happy healthy baby, but a few months after he was born I began falling back into disordered eating habits and after fighting it and trying to stay recovered I gave in and am back into my ED. I have been diagnosed with EDNOS and later bulimia. Right now I don't really know what my ED would be classified as, but I've been restricting more and more and exercising more and more. I no longer purge. I do occasionally binge. I just want to live my life and be skinny and happy. It sucks that the two are one in the same for me but whatever... I will reach my goals.

I guess I'll post my stats

Height: 5'9"

CW: 166.2 (as of this morning) :(
GW1: 159
GW2: 155
GW3: 149
GW4: 130
UGW: 115

Next post I'll add some thinspo. If you have any questions or recommendations for posts put them in a comment. Also I'm looking for similar blogs to follow. :)

~Toxic